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Tuesday, April 03, 2018


Privacy and Your Fertility

I never could believe my ears when people asked me "that"question, have you seen a doctor???. That's why we decided to keep much of our struggle to get pregnant very private. I always wanted to give some snide response like..."Gee...we never thought of that...hmmm...seeing a doctor...what a novel idea!" I have a neighbor who was very persistent about asking when we were going to have kids. Finally I told her we'd been trying for a number of years, and yes, I had seen a number of doctors, etc.
Then comes a whole bunch of unwanted advice on this friend or that friend who saw this doctor or that doctor and a bunch of embarrassing suggestions on everything from when to have sex to how to have it.

For more articles on sharing information about your fertility, visit:

I really don't like to share my personal information whether it's trying to get pregnant or anything else. That's why I finally resorted to telling people we weren't going to have kids even though we were trying to get pregnant. Yep, I lied, but at least it stopped the intrusive and hurtful questioning. None of these people have medical degrees, but when it comes to getting pregnant, it seems everyone is an expert. The real key here is being prepared. Some people will undoubtedly ask whether or not you are having children. Come up with 2 or 3 responses that you can always "pull out of your back pocket" when the need arises. That way, you'll never be caught off guard.

I had to keep reminding myself that these people really wanted to help.  If you haven't been through the heartbreak and anger of infertility and/or miscarriage, you have no idea what it's like.  The fertile world sees things much differently.  Most of their time is spent trying to avoid pregnancy since they've completed their families.  If they haven't completed their families, they automatically assume they can plan their next pregnancy and be fairly certain it will happen within a certain timeframe. They have no clue what it's like to want something so badly and how hard it is to be totally at the mercy of a microscopic biological process that can be very hit and miss.  Click on the link to my website above for some responses if you are asked intrusive questions about starting a family.
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