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Friday, October 06, 2017

WOMEN OVER 40 KEEP DESIRE FOR BABY PRIVATE

Pregnancy Over 40 Is a Private Matter

One thing many women over 40 who are trying to conceive have in common is they seem to be very private about their infertility. I even knew one woman who was in her mid 40's who fired her housekeeper for coming at unpredictable times before all the "fertility related" paperword etc. could be put away.

For another article on whether or not to share information about your infertility, visit:www.getpregnantover40.com

Everyone is different and some people are more comfortable sharing information than others, but for me, here are the main reasons I kept my fertility issues under wraps:

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1. The age factor: Society seems to judge "older" women more harshly. Some people view getting
pregnant only for the young. Older women who try to have a baby are judged harshly as if there's some kind of cut off point when getting pregnant is no longer acceptable. That's starting to change as many high profile celebrities and women in general are having babies at an older age.

2. Fertility issues revolve around the most private bodily functions. Getting pregnant is all about egg quality, sperm counts, intercourse, menstrual cycles, etc. It doesn't get more private or personal than that.

3. Failing in private is easier than failing in public: Whether it's getting pregnant or anything else, who needs the public humiliation?

4. Many people think having children later in life is "selfish" and "self-serving" -that's hard to listen to (as if it's anyone else's business). People think that just because you're over 40, you're going to die before your child reaches adulthood. Hey...all I can say is that the average life expectancy for women is almost 80 years old. Older mothers also have a great incentive to keep themselves healthy - and there's some evidence that women who become mothers later in life live longer. So there!

5. Even after my pregnancy was common knowledge, I still received comments like: "I can't imagine having a baby at your age" or "why would anyone want to have a baby over 40?" All I can say about that is most of the people making those comments had kids too young in life. They had a hard time struggling with work, finances, etc. What they don't realize is that although having kids late in life is some work, it's mostly fun - you have so much more time, patience and insight. Because you're a better parent, your child/children are better adjusted, and not constantly acting out to get your attention.

So, the moral of the story is: people who harshly judge come from their own set of beliefs and experiences which are totally different from yours. Keeping your information private is certainly a way of avoiding this negative influence into your life. That's one reason why I recommend a support group. Most of the women are a little older and it's a safe place to let it all out.

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