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Friday, June 02, 2017


Trying To Conceive Over 40

Research seems to show that more women delay childbearing because they haven't found Mr. Right instead of delaying childbearing because they were on the career track. I would say for many women (maybe most women) it's a combination of both of these factors. Climbing the corporate ladder or devoting time to your education and career doesn't leave much time or opportunity to date and meet that special someone. I know that was true in my case. There are only so many hours in the day, and when you have to get up and run to work early every morning, you certainly don't feel like going out in the evenings. Most of the people you meet are through work and the few times I dated men I worked with, I was always sorry. It creates an uncomfortable work environment when you stop dating.

See also: for more on my story and natural ways to conceive

Your social circle seems to shrink as you get older. Your friends have already gotten married and
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started their own families. It's hard to get out there and build your social life again. I found that I actually had to join singles groups with organized activities (which, by the way, is how I met my husband)to jump start my life outside of work.

If I had to do it all over again, I would have paid more attention to my social life and less attention on my career. My high stress job (which I worked in for 19 years before leaving) left me physically and emotionally stressed out. I believe this high level of stress added up over the years resulting in hormonal imbalances, physical ailments and ultimately infertility. I also wasted many of my younger days convincing myself that I didn't want to get married or have children -- a by-product of a less-than-perfect upbringing in a household where my parents were totally mismatched.

So, at least in my case, delayed childbearing was a mixture of all work, no play, and, social neglect. I'd love to turn back the clock and start over again with the benefit of hindsight, but all in all, everything turned out for the best. It was a long hard road, but a learned a lot along the way. Even though it took me until the age of 44 to become a mother, all of my heartache through infertility and miscarriage taught me how to value the things that are really important. Besides, all my friends who married and had children when they were younger had a different set of problems. They stuggled financially, some divorced, and some had challenges raising their kids. Life is a series of learning experiences - I think we all learn similar things in different ways and we all choose our own path.

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