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Sunday, May 14, 2017

MOTHER'S DAY, YES, YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT!

Well, this "holiday" coming up may be the worst one of them all if you're trying to conceive. What could be harder than watching the rest of the country celebrate the joys of motherhood while you sit there stuck in infertility  quicksand.

I know much has been written by myself and others about surviving holidays while you're trying to conceive. Mother's day is a big one...so how do you get through it? Many years ago, I started the tradition of hosting a mother's day brunch at my house. I actually started this before I was even married and I continued it while I was struggling with infertility and miscarriage. Even though it seems counter-intuitive, it actually was a great thing to do. I love a good project and planning and
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organizing a big get-together was just enough to keep my mind off my woes.

Even if you decide not to host a big get-together at your house, try to find something that's going to keep you busy over the mother's day weekend. Since the weather's finally getting nicer, plan some outdoor activities. Work in your yard or garden, or plan a home improvement project. I can't tell you how many projects I completed during the six years I was trying to conceive. In retrospect, I'm glad I used my time productively...not only was it good for my mental health, but it was nice to get so many projects out of the way that I don't have time for now. It will be your turn one day...don't put your life on hold while you're waiting.

When I was trying to get pregant, I watched many mothers' days come and go. I remember thinking, wouldn't it be neat if I got pregnant right before mother's day and I could announce it to everyone on mother's day? Well...it never happens like that unless you're reading a romance novel or watching made-for-TV movie.
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My advice? Don't ever put dates or deadlines on when you're going to get pregnant. You really will be setting yourself up for failure. Every pregnancy I had always came as a total shock (even though I was actively trying). I realize that when you're trying to conceive, every month is an opportunity for success, but it's when you start trying to force things into place that you get into trouble. If you're not pregnant this month, it doesn't mean that you're doomed. It simply means that you're not pregnant this month. When I really want something, I make my intentions known to the universe through visualization and meditation, and then I try to divert my attention elsewhere. That way I don't try too hard which essentially acts as a roadblock to my success.

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